Attention Walmart Shoppers…

In the midst of an animated conversation on the art of shopping, Jordan snacks on Trader Joes Spanakopita.

Jordan sashays into the kitchen, swaggering from hip to hip as she often does. In fairness, her gait is partially out of her control. It’s the product of the way her body shifts her weight to compensate for the trouble with her legs. But she takes some joy in the sassy walk. She works it.

– Dad, guess what I found at Walmart?

She is fascinated by America’s leading discounter. Somehow she stumbled on to the link, and to my misfortune her parental control filter seems to think Walmart is tame–safe from any harmful content. Now, you might think that an ecommerce site like Walmart would hold little interest for a juvenile web surfer who can’t read.

You would be wrong.

For the last several days she has flipped through its pages ogling at the different things she would like to buy for her friends and family. She’s been keeping a list and using her new digital camera to take pictures of the web pages she likes (we’re trying to teach her how to bookmark and use screenshots, but she prefers this manual method).

– They have the most AMAZING stuff. We have to go there.

No disrespect to the good folks at Walmart, but I would rather stand in line at the DMV while being treated for rabies with injections to the stomach than visit a Walmart store. I can’t say this to Jordan, of course, so instead I hedge.

– Daddy’s not really much of a shopper.

She thinks of this for a moment, grabs a few snacks from the cupboard and then advises me again.

– You really should see it, Dad. I just love Walmart.

She blows me a kiss and scrambles back to her computer. I sigh and consider cocktails with breakfast.