Girl Unleashed

There were murmurs on the other end of the phone. Before I could finish saying hello, Jordan interrupted me.

– Daddy, I can stop chemo!

Her voice was charged with excitement. She rattled off a thousand words a minute without a breath. I don’t even recall most of what she said. I just lingered on the opening salvo. Jordan is stopping chemo.

She was a nervous beast this morning, yelling at her mom, yelling at her brother, pouting, fidgeting, and storming around in a moody melange of emotion. We had every reason to believe the appointment would go well, but it didn’t abate the anxiety we all felt, most of all Jordan. When the news finally came, she sounded like a different kid.

Of course, we’re relieved and cautious. We have to temper our excitement. We’re celebrating, but we’re mindful that next month we could get the news that the tumor is active again. Like everything on Jordan’s Journey, there is no definitive milestone, and no concrete state of being. We have learned to live one day at a time–celebrate the good ones, weather through the bad. Today is a great day. Tomorrow we start again.